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Written by Karen B. Hall
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Wednesday, 04 March 2009 23:03 |
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I read recently on CNN’s website that a law firm in New York which focuses on divorces has been running radio ads suggesting that divorce may make sense now for some people whose assets have tanked in the current economy because they will lose less money to their partner. The firm’s principal partner clarified that the ad was meant only for couples who are certain they want to divorce. Even so, he pointed out that divorce may make the most sense when the parties can least afford it. If couples can stay together, by all means they should try to do so. But if divorce is inevitable, now may be the right time? |
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Last Updated on Monday, 16 March 2009 16:25 |
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Written by Karen B. Hall
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Monday, 02 March 2009 17:00 |
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Money can be a great source of stress in both marriages and post-divorce relationships. While it was not necessarily a good thing, the divorce rate dropped sharply during the Great Depression. Couples also delayed marriages as well. Economics can dictate relationships. While the current economic difficulties may be a factor in deciding whether to divorce, they may also be a significant factor in whether one can live up to obligations made in flusher times. For example, what may have been imminently reasonable in past agreements regarding private school or extra-curricular activities for children may no longer feasible. Expectations may necessarily be changing. If you have faced or are facing the loss of a job, downsizing, pay cuts, or maybe the inability to pay or refinance a mortgage, you may have options for changing obligations. That is true whether you need to pay less or receive more.. Photo: Getty Images |
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Last Updated on Monday, 16 March 2009 16:24 |
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Written by Karen B. Hall
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Monday, 02 March 2009 16:40 |
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I recently read an account of a couple’s story of how they created their blended family. Legal warfare had left them, their children and their children’s other two parents scarred, frightened, exhausted and estranged. The new couple clung to each other as they faced difficult communications and planning tasks with their respective ex-spouses. One thing they knew for sure was that each of their children’s parents was irreplaceable, and that every phone call, meeting, letter or email could either help or harm. They understood that their movements would be reflected in their children’s self-image and understanding. Missteps and time taught them they had to somehow rise above blame and scorekeeping. Relying on their faith, this couple slowly came to accept that they needed to uphold their children’s other parents as full partners in a sacred journey. They also came to see that realizing and doing are two separate work orders that require a lot of effort. Today, their children move freely between and among the homes of their parents. Step-parents are respected and embraced, resources are shared, and the kids know that everyone counts. It can be done. |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 March 2009 22:56 |
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Written by Karen B. Hall
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Monday, 02 March 2009 16:28 |
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Breaking up is harder to do after the fall of the housing market, at least for some. With the market for homes having crashed, couples are left arguing about whether their home(s) are worth what they owe on them and whether there are any assets left to divide. Even couples who are trying to be amicable about the divorce can find themselves strained. One party may want the house. One party may want to be bought out. But at what price? With nearly one in six homes worthless than the mortgage owed on it, according to Moody’s Economy.com, the logistics of divorce have been turned around. People used to fight about who gets to keep the house. Now they fight about who gets stuck with the dead cow. Some people are deciding to stay together because there are no assets left to help them start over. Then again, this can be a great time to end a marriage that has struggled for a long time. Maybe there is nothing left to argue about, and both can get a fresh start. |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 March 2009 22:55 |
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Written by Karen B. Hall
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Monday, 02 March 2009 15:53 |
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It can be a struggle for children when their parents divorce. Maybe one parent has become an absent parent. Mistakes are made, but can they be repaired? Yes, children struggle, and yes, mistakes are made. The good news is that parents can always fix the errors of the past – and have a positive effect on the present. One important thing to keep in mind is when you say negative things about your children’s other parent, you are actually saying something negative about your children. One can’t say, “Mom is rotten” or “Dad is bad” and not have that reflect on the child because the child hears himself being partially called whatever the other parent is being called. Instead of blaming the other parent, focus on the future. Children crave love and attention from their parents. Even if it is years later and the children are adults, they always have a place in their heart for their parents, and parents can always reenter their lives -- if they are genuine about it and stick with it and be consistent. Accept your family as it is now. If the children are with you, be there for them. Let them know you can handle it, and that you are going to make it work until anything changes. That is a big piece of moving on. |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 March 2009 22:55 |
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