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This Behavior Is The #1 Predictor Of Divorce, And You're Guilty Of It PDF Print E-mail
Written by Karen B. Hall   
Monday, 27 June 2016 09:00

Ever catch yourself rolling your eyes at your partner or getting a little too sarcastic during a conversation? Those seemingly small behaviors are not that innocent after all.

According to renowned researcher John Gottman, contemptuous behavior like eye-rolling, sarcasm and name-calling is the number one predictor of divorce.

For 40 years, the University of Washington psychology professor and his team at the Gottman Institute have studied couples' interactions to determine the key predictors of divorce -- or as Gottman calls them, “the four horsemen of the apocalypse."

Contempt is the number one sign, followed by criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling (emotionally withdrawing from your partner.)

So how do you curb contempt in your own marriage and stave off divorce? Below, experts share seven things you can do to keep contempt in check.

The Huffington Post has more.

16 People Confess: What They Saw at a Wedding That Convinced Them the Marriage Would End in Divorce PDF Print E-mail
Written by Karen B. Hall   
Monday, 13 June 2016 09:00

It's wedding season! That means expensive dresses and/or suits for the various parties, wild reception shenanigans and hopefully, everlasting love.

Or in some cases, just the first two. Just in time for that destination wedding you shelled out $500 on airfare towards, plus the tux/dress, plus the gift … here are the 16 things Redditors witnessed at a wedding that convinced them the union they were there to celebrate just wasn't meant to last.

Read the Reddit article for the entire article.

Last Updated on Tuesday, 19 July 2016 21:19
Do You Know What The Number One Predictor Of Divorce Is? PDF Print E-mail
Written by Karen B. Hall   
Wednesday, 13 April 2016 19:51

Have you ever wondered what the number one predictor of divorce is? Hint: it’s not screaming matches, money-related disagreements, mismatched parenting styles or in-law disputes. The number one predictor of divorce is good ole contempt.

According to Marie Claire, after four decades of studying couples at the Gottman Institute, Dr. John Gottman found that harboring feelings of contempt or disgust towards a partner causes marriages to come apart at the seams. Of course, it’s natural for feel frustrated or even annoyed with your mate from time to time, but once feelings of disdain develop, you’re in unhealthy territory.

“All relationships involve ongoing, perpetual problems that will resurface,” explains Gottman researcher Mike McNulty, Ph.D. “Partners who do not handle discussions of these problems well are at the most risk of divorce.”

Wondering if contempt might be eating away at your union? Think about the reoccurring issues that continue to surface in your relationship, such as disciplinary differences or debates about spending. How do you or your partner behave when discussing these matters?

Madam Noire has more.

Last Updated on Wednesday, 18 May 2016 19:55
4 Lies Boomers Believe To Stay Unhappily Married PDF Print E-mail
Written by Karen B. Hall   
Wednesday, 21 October 2015 09:00

"When I look at his face I literally see red," Margaret said.

When 52-year-old Margaret (who has given me permission to share her story) became my client she'd been married to Ted for 25 years and they had two children, 12 and 15.

Ted was a binge drinker and Margaret was, in her own words, his "angry doormat, co-dependent, control freak."

She hid bottles of alcohol, tried to stop Ted from going out alone to social functions, covertly placed a tracking app on his cell phone, plead with him to get help, launched long-term, punishing silence campaigns, engaged in all-out verbal warfare, saying things she could never take back, and often in earshot of their kids.

"I did everything short of tasering him, putting him in a straight-jacket and locking him in the basement," she said.

The Huffington Post has more.

Last Updated on Friday, 30 October 2015 23:20
American Bar Association President Pushes Online Models for Civil Disputes PDF Print E-mail
Written by Karen B. Hall   
Thursday, 25 June 2015 09:00

The president of the American Bar Association says the traditional method of providing pro bono legal services in civil matters to those who can’t afford to pay for an attorney isn’t working despite best efforts.

And William C. Hubbard wants those in the legal system to work more with tech companies finding a demand for online dispute resolution programs.

“Despite all of our best efforts, we have not closed this justice gap despite more pro bono work and more support,” Hubbard told a group of 200 attorneys and judges Thursday, June 18, at the Tennessee Bar Association’s annual meeting, held this year in Memphis.

“The current system as it affects those who do not have access to justice is just broken and we need to fix it,” added Hubbard, who is an attorney from Columbia, S.C.

The Memphis Daily News has more.

Change the Way You Think About Divorce Mediation PDF Print E-mail
Written by Karen B. Hall   
Tuesday, 23 June 2015 09:00

If you had a life threatening illness, would you go see any doctor as long as they had an office near your house?

Or, would you seek out the absolute best specialist, no matter where that doctor was located?

Hopefully, the latter.

So now that you’re about to go through a divorce - one of the most profoundly difficult and complex life events you'll ever experience, will you settle for just any mediator as long as they have an office nearby?

Equitable Mediation has more.


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