If you're considering divorce, you've got a lot on your mind. Whether you're certain you want to split or still considering whether your marriage can be saved, there are five crucial things you should do before taking more definite action.

Know your family's assets. Have a solid sense of your spouse's annual income, as well as the worth of his or her investments and other assets, including any business holdings. Clearly determine your own annual income and the worth of any investments and other assets that are in your name, or that you hold jointly with your spouse. A divorce settlement should fairly apportion these assets -- and you won't know what a fair division looks like unless you know what's there to begin with. [ link ]

When I was a little girl, I sometimes looked in the mirror and imagined who I might marry and what I might wear on my wedding day. Later as a teenager, I sometimes wrote my name as if I were married to my boyfriend de jour, just to see what it felt like to try on a married persona. What I imagined involved love and romance. It did not involve thinking about a financial partnership or the implications of putting together what amounts to a small business relationship where each member has a role and responsibilities. It certainly did not involve working out a conflict resolution procedure that allowed for the voices of both participants to be heard in order to have an effective decision-making methodology. [ link ]

It's never too late to find love, and apparently, it's never too late to call it quits, either. The national divorce rate might be on a decline, but that's not the case not for baby boomers. The divorce rate for couples in their 60s is up to 35 percent.

There are a handful of factors that could be causing this rise. For one, divorce isn't as taboo as it used to be. And as you age, your priorities change, too. Or maybe couples just want to wait for their kids to be all grown up until they break the news (though it's not easy at any age). [ link ]

A growing number of unmarried couples are seeking similar legal protections through cohabitation agreements. These legally-binding contracts, which are drawn up by an attorney, protect each person's assets, address child custody issues and determine support obligations, much like prenuptial agreements do.

"We've seen a real dramatic increase," said Ken Altshuler, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, or AAML. "A lot more people are delaying, or forgoing, marriage and people are realizing as you get older, you have more things to protect." [ link ]

Drama. Deceit. Devastation. It's not just reality TV, it's the reality that most of us experience when we end a relationship, because we don't and won't leave our mate until we reach the point of hating, hurting and hardly speaking. Like a pit bull gripping its most beloved doggie toy, we believe that if we feel any love at all for this person, we must stay, fight and make the relationship work. And only when we think that love is gone, do we concede and dive head first into the despair of an ugly, hurtful, messy divorce. [ link ]